Theobroma: Food (or Drink) of the Gods

If you know good beer, then you know Dogfish Head. If you don’t know Dogfish Head, then what the hell have you been doing? In the world of craft brewing, Dogfish Head is, to put it simply, the shit. They make so many good, tasty, delicious, holy-crap-I-just-died beers. They’re based out of Delaware, so if you’re within a day’s driving distance (maybe two) then you should go visit. If you’re not, take a plane. Seriously. I would love to go to their brewery, but I haven’t had the chance yet.

Anyway. Enough of my declarations of love and onto Theobroma, the food of the gods. Or in this case, the drink. There is so much in here that you wouldn’t expect: honey, chilies, annatto (a tree seed that smells good, so I hear), and Aztec cocoa powder and coca nibs. They call this a chocolate beer, even though it’s light in color. It’s definitely more subtle than other chocolate beers I’ve had, and a bit more fruity, but it’s pretty damn tasty all the same.

One awesome thing before I start: Dogfish Head based this beer on pottery fragments they found in the Honduras. A chemical analysis of the fragments showed that alcoholic chocolate drinks were used by early civilizations to toast special occasions. So basically (kind of, maybe, sort of), Dogfish Head resurrected a beer from 1200 BC. Yeah, I thought it was cool too.

Color: When I said light in color, I didn’t mean too light. This is a cloudy, dark golden color, with a thin white head. It pours like golden flax, like the light reflecting off of an elven maiden’s hair. Okay, so maybe she's not a natural blonde and that light is a bit cloudy, but that’s okay, it just adds to her air of mystery.

Aroma: Definitely fruity. Somehow they have taken the sweet smell of a hot and lazy summer afternoon, right when the sun is setting, and put it into a beer. It’s definitely fruity, and it smells like honey. I also thought it smelled like grapes, but maybe that’s just me. In any case, they’ve somehow bottled a summer sunset eternally into a bottle.


First Sip: WHAT AM I TASTING I DON’T EVEN

Mouthfeel: Okay tastebuds, calm down. I SAID CALM DOWN. Take a deep breath.

At first, you’re not really sure what you’re drinking, all you know is that you want more. Then once you slow down and roll it around your mouth, the different flavors start to jump out at you. First, the honey—it’s got that sweet taste characteristic of honey ales. Then you can start to taste the cocoa and just a hint of the chilies. This is definitely a complex beer, and even though you’re kind of overwhelmed at first, it doesn’t hit you like a train. All your brain can think is “THIS IS AMAZING HOLY CRAP FEED ME MORE,” until you really slow down to taste all the amazing complex flavors in this beer.

Aftertaste: A little sweet, a little chocolately. When the bottle is empty, you can stare at it forlornly with the taste of paradise still on your tongue.

At 9% ABV, this is pretty much guaranteed to make you feel like a god. Or at least really awesome.


This beer is a limited edition, so if you want to try some, I would be quick about it. I actually tried this some time ago, so I'm not sure if it's still around. To find it, or any other Dogfish Head beer, click here.