Manifesto

I cannot believe I haven't put this up here yet. Shame on me.

"If I Was A Beer" by Alyssa Lawrence

It couldn't be any Bud, Corona, or Coors
And not PBR, that's for sure.
You can forget that watery shit,
'Cause I don't like it one little bit.
The classless taste of college frats
is not how I would choose to bat.
I'd be something bitter, something dark
Something that would leave a mark.
A Guiness, a stout, or an S.O.B.,
A drink unafraid of getting dirty.
Or perhaps a pale ale, foam on top
The deliciously enticing taste of hops.
Dark, amber, red or gold,
Good beer just never gets old.
But if I had to choose just one
To be for a little fun,
Well then, GODDAMN!
I'd be a $200 bottle of SAMS!
Take that Miller and Natty Ice
You can never match my price.
Why don't you do yourself a favor
And try something with flavor!
You can say that I'm being too hard,
But I know I'm better - I'm a beer snob.

A note on the phrase "beer snob": I feel that "beer geek" would be a better choice of words here, but alas, it doesn't rhyme. "Snob" implies that there are very few beers that I hold in high esteem, when in fact I hold a LOT of beers in high esteem. It's true that I do look down on some beers, but I have tried every single crap beer mentioned in that poem (which is how I know they're crap). I've gone to college, I've had my share of PBR (oh, Emerson), and now it's time to start drinking good, tasty, delicious beers.